Reviewed: June 2, 2002
Reviewed by: Mark Smith
Publisher
Ubisoft
Developer
Ubisoft
Released: April 16, 2002
Genre: Racing
Players: 1
ESRB: Teen
1
1
1
1
1.0
Supported Features:
I have to admit that I was sure I had seen the last of any new releases for the original PlayStation system. In fact, I was in the middle of redesigning the website to move this, and other aging systems to an archival area so I could focus on the next-gen systems.
Up for review today is a budget title, but even the $10 price tag can’t save this game from a horrible fate and a painfully honest review. It’s hard enough to play these “new games” being released for an almost-obsolete system; especially after tasting the good life on the newer consoles. But when the game is as bad as Road Trip you have to wonder why they even bothered to shovel this out the door.
Hooters Road Trip is a racing game in which you drive cross-country from one Hooters eating establishment to the next, against computer opponents. That’s right – no two-player options in this game. For those of you who live in a Hooters-deprived state, Hooters is a chain of restaurants that started in Florida and has been sweeping the nation offering tasty chicken wings served by equally tasty waitresses in painted-on orange shorts and semi-transparent T-shirts. Of course going to Hooters for the food ranks right up there with reading Playboy for the articles.
I would have loved to have sat in on the executive meeting of Hooters and Ubisoft to find out just what was going through their minds when they decided to create a videogame that showcases these models/waitresses in a rally racing game. There is so little actual game value present in this title that I suspect this was more of a publicity stunt for Hooters than a viable game title for Ubisoft.
At only $10, this game fits into the general pricing of items you can buy at the Hooters Store in each of the restaurants. I wouldn’t be surprised to see this game being sold alongside Hooters calendars and T-shirts the next time I drop in for some…err…wings.
I have nothing against using sexy women to sell chicken wings or video games, but Road Trip is misleading in that you only get very quick glimpses of the famous waitresses in very brief video clips between the levels. The visual rewards are certainly not worth the agony of playing the actual game.
Racing is what Hooters Road Trip is all about, but it won’t take more than a few of these races to figure out there just isn’t anything here that hasn’t been done before and twenty-times better. Hooters offers 5 modes of play, the first is test drive mode in which you’ll pick your car out of a list of 3 generic offerings and drive on an empty road with an occasional cow or two to grace the sparse and pixilated scenery.
In practice mode you choose your car, select whether you want traffic on or off, and take part in a race against opponents and like test drive mode you race to the end of the track. Although in practice mode, after reaching the end you’ll be greeted by three hooters chicks that yell ‘Hooters Road Trip!”
In road trip mode you’ll compete in different races and depending on what place you finish you’ll unlock different cars. The AI is shoddy and the track is practically on “rails”, almost like a slot racer, so you can win any of these races without even trying.
Another mode in the game is license mode. In this mode you can unlock the cars you have already unlocked (yes – you must online the cars twice) by completing a lap around rural road course within a specified time limit. The final mode is custom road trip in which you can choose the locations you want to drive in. So many modes and so little gameplay.
The controls are horrid. Simply tapping the D-pad for a split-second to steer your car will send you careening out of control. Crashing into oncoming traffic will result in the race coming to a literal stop until the person that you smashed into backs up or you back up and go around – either option is painfully slow. I spent every moment of every race fighting the control. Driving in a straight line is an exercise in frustration and turning is impossible.
The cars all have various stats associated with them but they are all but meaningless. You might pick a car with a high speed rating but when you start driving you’ll notice that the car accelerates like a school bus. Collision detection in the game is unpredictably bad. You might be a couple feet away from an object and it will still register as a collision.
Graphics are horrible, even by PSX standards...even by Game Boy Advance standards. I approach every game I play as a unique experience and try not to compare it with games on the newer systems, but Road Trip cannot compare with even the worse PSX game or the best GBA title. You have several chase views and a bumper cam you can choose, but they all look terrible and are equally impossible to control.
The track design is horrible with bland background graphics, a forest of trees, guardrails to keep you on the road in case you fall asleep at the controller, and the occasional bitmapped cow and oncoming car or truck for you to dodge. The screenshots speak for themselves – just imagine them blown up on a 35” TV - yech!.
The video clips of the Hooters girls are good quality but as previously mentioned, they are way too short. The acting and dialog (what little there is) is total cornball and I felt sorry for the girls forced to be a part of this game. Hopefully they aren’t aspiring actresses, and if you are, I beg you to never tell anyone you were part of this title.
Music consists mainly of 80's rock guitar riffs that are only a few bars long and get really repetitious really fast. The music certainly doesn't fit the mood of the game, unless the mood they were going for was depression. The game boasts a feature called the “Total Control Radio” that gives you total control over 7 different songs that are all easily forgettable.
Sound effects are minimal. I think I may have counted three including the engine noise, a crashing sound, and a cow mooing, or maybe that was just me groaning. It’s all low quality and nothing stands out.
I’ll make a wild assumption that most of you aren’t going to get this game. For those of you that can’t resist ogling big-breasted waitresses in 5-second clips and insist on putting yourself through this torturous game you can expect maybe 10-15 hours of gameplay to complete all the various modes – although it may “seem” much longer. I’m guessing on the time here, and extrapolating on my time spent vs. ratio of game completed.
If you have $10 lying around and want some Hooters memorabilia then get a Hooters calendar or a T-Shirt or just give the cash to the waitress for a tip. The smile you get in return will be more enjoyable than this title.
