Reviewed: July 18, 2007
Released: April 17, 2007
Pet Vet 3D Wild Animal Hospital is the latest installment of the children's PC game series wherein a blond, twenty-something veterinarian shows young animal lovers everywhere how to diagnose, treat and care for sick animals. With three difficulty settings, a simulation for running a veterinarian hospital, interesting information concerning different types of African animals, as well as a freestyle and story mode, Wild Animal Hospital sets out to educate and entertain kids with cute, cuddly and exotic animals. At least, that's what the game box would lead you to believe.
Oh, Pet Vet, how little you've changed since last we met! While the last Pet Vet Animal Hospital was full of bugs when I reviewed it, at least it was somewhat playable. It wasn't fun by any stretch of the imagination and it took an entire lifetime for the game to reply to simple commands (such as, you know, making the character move), but it worked, in a way, kind of, sort of. Pet Vet 3D Wild Animal Hospital however, not only is full of fatal bugs, but is also completely and entirely, physically, unplayable.
Let me just state for the record, that my computer is not quite three years old yet, and while it's nothing terribly impressive, it is a basic, run of the mill PC that is perfectly capable of running games (I've reviewed many in the past) that are far more complex than the simple 800 MHz CPU and 256 MB RAM requirement that Wild Animal Hospital calls for, including some rather large MMOs that I happen to be fond of. The copy of the Pet Vet game I received was completely unscratched and unblemished in any way.
So, what's the deal? Is there some strange incompatibility with the Pet Vet games and my computer hidden deep within the bowels of my computer's hardware? Unlikely. Is there a ghost in my machine that has a deep seated vendetta against Pet Vet games for some mysterious reason? Nothing nearly that exciting ever happens in my personal life, so I'd have to rule that possibility out as well. The fact remains, however, that the copy of Wild Animal Hospital that I received was impossible to play, and it may be impossible for you and your kids to play too.
Unfortunately, since I've been here with Pet Vet before, I can't say that I was all that surprised when I installed the game (which I did twice, just to make sure there wasn't an error that was causing the game to go haywire) and attempted to play the mess that is Pet Vet 3D Wild Animal Kingdom.
Presumably, the interface is very simple, consisting of pointing and clicking or using arrow keys to move around the veterinarian facilities, although this simple task is impossible to do. Moving the character lead her to simply walk back and forth in a jerky line. And that was that. My vain attempts to get her to move further or do anything else were fruitless. No animals were cared for, no interesting information about different animals was given, no managing the veterinarian facilities, no playing with baby elephants and zebras or petting tiger cubs...no fun at all, just a monumental waste of time.
The opening of Wild Animal Hospital consists of still shots of the animated veterinarian looking very vacant and happy and animals looking equally vapid. Then the fun starts.
As far as I can tell, the graphics of Wild Animal Hospital consists of a blond, Barbie-esque person in jeans and a t-shirt walking back and forth in a jerky line outside of a building that is supposed to be the hospital. Trees don't so much sway in the wind as jerk bizarrely to and fro as though taking queues from the Barbie-person on the ground who's pacing, and perhaps having a seizure at the same time. The game looks relatively bright and cheery as though trying to convince its victims (i.e. the players) that Wild Animal Hospital is a fun, happy game for all and not just a poorly thrown together thing vaguely symbolizing a real game. What a joke.
Pet Vet 3D Animal Hospital sounds more or less like a remix of itself done by some loopy DJ. The soundtrack skips constantly, allowing no more than two seconds of the music or dialog to play before it skips back to the beginning of the loop. Occasionally, it will skip forward a few seconds and repeat the process with a fresh two second loop of skipping soundtrack. The tutorial goes a little something like this:
Hello, and welcome! I am and welcome. I am and welcome...I am and welcome....I am and um...I am and um...I am and um...I am glad that you are and um...I am glad that you are and um....I am glad that you are and um....You are visiting my tutorial...isiting my tutori...isiting my tutori...isiting my tutori...isiting my tutorial...my tutorial...my tutorial...my tutorial...
Just lay down some nice beats, and you may have yourself a hit in the dance clubs!
Why pay so much for a drink coaster? There are much more stylish ones available at just about any decent department store, and for much, much cheaper.
Of all of the games that I've reviewed over the past almost three years that I've worked here at Game Chronicles, I have never had the misfortune of receiving a game that was completely unplayable in every way shape and form. After exhausting all other possibilities as to why this is, I've come to the conclusion that there is a good chance that Pet Vet 3D Wild Animal Hospital will possibly be useless as a game for you and your children as well. What a disappointment. Don't make your kids cry by buying them such a piece of junk. Stay away from Pet Vet 3D Wild Animal Hospital.